Dating...

“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.

She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.

Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?

Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”

- Jarrid Wilson”

Thanks Jarrid!

and PS from me...

I hope she keeps herself groomed and looking as well as she can.
I hope you keep yourself groomed and looking as well as you can too...

A Conversation With My Son

Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. I enjoy making people uncomfortable, so that conversation should be fun.

No, I’m talking about another conversation. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well — following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is. There will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.


Hey, come here. Let me talk to you. I saw you look at her. I’m not judging you or shaming you. I know why you did. I get it. But we have to talk about it because how you look at a woman matters.

A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing — or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim.

You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim, you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh.

Look right at me. That is a ridiculous lie.

You are more than that. And the woman you are looking at is more than her clothes. She is more than her body. There is a lot of talk about how men objectify women, and largely, it is true. Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human — woman or man — you give up your humanity.

There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves.

Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.

Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things.

Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.

Pastor Nate Pyle

Cynicism

"I write positive lyrics because I know cynicism and I have to fight against it."
Howard Jones

Confident

"I'm confindent because I'm prepared - I do the work."
Dr Phil

Character

"Don't let your gifts take you where your character will not let you go"
Warren Le Grange - 13th Floor

Me and My Mouse

"As for me and my mouse, we will serve the Lord."
Dan Seaborn http://winningathome.com

Noble

"There is nothing noble about being superior to another person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self."
"Robin S Sharma "The Monk Who Sold His Ferari"

Mind-Management

"Mind management is the essence of life management."
Robin S Sharma "The Monk Who Sold His Ferari"

Dare to Dream

"Sometimes you need to dare to dream, despite the nay-sayers around you."
David Perry of Cascade Toy

Cultivate

"Your challenge is not to keep trying to repair what was damaged; your practice instead is to reawaken what is already wise, strong and whole within you; to cultivate those qualities of heart and spirit that are available to you in this very moment."
- W Muller

Unlived Life

"... nothing has a stronger influence on children than the unlived life of a parent."
Jung quoted by Steven K Baum "Growing Up at Any Age." p82

Qualities

"He is unassuming, ungrudging, unphased."
Said of General Rogers - South African Air Force

Singular - Universal

"That which seems the most singular is often the most universal."
James Christensen - Fantasy painter (artist)

Get Good

"You got to put in your 10,000 hours - that's how you get good."
Scott Usher

Rebelliousness

"There's a certain rebelliousness in artists - not that you want to be rebellious, but that you are."
James Cristensen - Fantasy painter (artist)

Join a Club

"Joining a club that makes you show up just once a month has the same impact on your happiness as doubling your income."
Dan Beuttner

Me and My Mouse

"As for me and my mouse, we will serve the Lord.
Keep it up! Don't screw up!
Being a husband and a father is hard because they happen every day.
Go home - be men of nobility in our homes."
Dan Seaborn "Winning at Home" www.winningathome.com

How We Feel About Outselves

"Our inability to control our emotions is founded, I believe, on how we feel about ourselves."
"Hot buttons are more prominent in people with low self-esteem."
Allan Harvey "Renovate Your Life" p 76 and 82

Brokenness and Honesty

"Out of brokenness comes honesty."
Dawie Spies - Motivational speaker

Greatness

"Everybody can be great because everybody can serve."
Dr Martin Luther King Jr